an eagle flying in the sky

Lord, please give me “Be still, my soul” patience

As grief overwhelmed me, I lost my patience. Anger welled up and had to be honestly released with a shout. Shrouded in loss and shocked by my unusually loud reaction, I asked God to help me see what lay beneath my tear-full explosion.  My anguish had started with an unexpected Read more

crop harvester with fresh eggplants in box

Spirit of God, teach me the patience of unanswered prayer

Friends are lovingly encouraging me to “be patient” when I get my hopes up and then end up feeling discouraged and disappointed in this rehab and recovery time. It’s a waiting time, one step forward, two steps back. It’s one of “longsuffering,” God’s word for “patience.” Are you waiting for Read more

job print on book

When we feel like nothing, and no one is helpful in battles, we need our Helper 

I opened my phone, and social media tore into me. Memes complaining about “the world,” suffering and sin, and Scriptures meant to warn unbelievers wrecked my already-aching heart. When I realized I was suddenly feeling condemned and wallowing in “self” thoughts, I knew…these people’s posts were not helpful. When we Read more

aerial view of a city

Singing the gospel when I’m afraid 

Father, The deceiver tempts us to fear that You’re punishing us when we suffer. When the hits keep coming, and we read the words of the Old Covenant, we’re easily afraid it’s our fault. We must not be doing enough to “earn” Your favor. Our accuser tempts us to think Read more

clouds and blue sky

God’s presence and promised help as I suffer

Heavenly Father,  You encouraged Your people to be strong, without fear or dread, before they ventured into already-known hardship. Yes, they were entering Your promised land, but not without “many dangers, toils, and snares.” How could they head into new adventures with courage?  Your promise came true, of course. As Read more

person s scooping water by hands

A “praise interruption” into my pain and tears

For this musician who thinks and breathes in music, being unable to make music to our Lord was a heartbreaking loss. Overwhelming grief. For months, I was so sick as the resonating chambers in my head filled with pressure from my sagging brain and herniated brainstem, that I couldn’t sing Read more

white clouds with sun piercing through it

Clinging to hope in God’s purposes as I suffer, like Jesus

Father,  It’s Your promise.  Please strengthen our hearts by fixing our eyes on Jesus today. Help us cling to hope in Your always-good purposes for Your beloved in Christ, as we suffer. For it can seem like there are no good purposes for our earthly suffering. But Your Word gives Read more

mountains with crepuscular ray

God’s miracle happened before! To God be the glory!

When I tell the story, some respond in awe and praise God. Others scratch their heads, “Maybe He is real and still does miracles.” I’m holding my breath in awe, wonder, and trembling worship. God has done a miracle in my life, twice now. I’m so humbled by His grace Read more

selective focus photography of pine tree with snow flakes

A lament of suffering at Christmas, into Love

God rest you merry, gentlemen,let nothing you dismay…Oh tidings of comfort and joy! (“God rest you merry, gentlemen,” p.d.) Yes, we’ve begun the Christmas season with all its “tidings of comfort and joy.” But are you suffering this year, as I am? Does this feel impossible to sing? Is your Read more

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