human standing beside crucifix statue on mountain

Have you ever heard of spiritual depression? 

Particularly when our bodies suffer from chronic illness or ongoing fatigue and stress, we can become prone to what Martin Lloyd-Jones describes as “spiritual depression” or joyless unhappiness, a temptation of Satan for a believer.  My harp on yonder willow lies, Silent, neglected, and unstrung; My cheerful songs are turned Read more

adult and young sheeps

When suffering makes me feel numb

Are you also suffering with chronic illnesses? With pain that interrupts your ability to sleep? Are exhaustion and depletion becoming a “numbed” depression? Blankly existing? Is an onslaught of simultaneous relational or financial suffering making you feel numb? “Numbness is an incredibly strong emotion, an emotion so strong that it Read more

person soaking on body of water

Jehovah Râphâh, our Great Physician, our Healing

Bedridden and flat. The only way to reduce severe pain and eye-popping pressure, as my brain continues to heal. Tears of grief, feeling like I’d been given the game of Life’s “Move back 20 spaces,” missing many special times with people I love. Wondering how I could start over with Read more

photo of woman raising both hands

Oh, this full and precious peace…as we suffer

O the power of love divine! Who its heights and depths can tell – Tell Jehovah’s grand design, To redeem our souls from hell? (“I am His and He is Mine,” Robinson, W., 1890) What’s your redemption story? His gift of redemption or justification happened for me when I was Read more

girl in yellow clothes sitting with finger raised

Is it a mission impossible? With God, redemption found!

I’ve had many moments when I’ve felt so weak that my remaining time on earth feels like a mission impossible. In my body’s weakness, it’s given many extra hours for prayer and time in God’s Word.  It’s created time to ask our “mighty to save” LORD (Is. 63:1) to save Read more

woman wearing white top

Joy in the truth of the gospel!

What a mess. My heart breaks by what I see on social media these days…people judge others’ heart motives and force their personal “if-then” ideas. They echo themes of the book of Job, such painful destruction on top of his grief, financial loss, and chronic illness. Job’s “friends” accuse him Read more

three red heart decors

A crisis of faith, a bursting of love

God has woven some underlying themes into my 35 years of suffering from chronic illness and pain, much like themes in a sonata. As I read my prayer journals, one theme has been the ongoing need to believe the gospel…daily.  I see the subtle spiritual warfare and temptation of the Read more

round silver colored chronograph watch

How can we face a New Year? One hour at a time

I recently came to our Father with the pain of my suffering sisters in Christ as we live in this fallen world…cancer and chronic illness, depression and anxiety, financial and job pressures, loneliness and losses, death and grief, persecution, pains in motherhood and marriage, constant woundings of others… ”Oh Father, Read more

woman holding christmas gift

A suffering Christmas with God’s gift of purifying and refining

I’ve been pondering the wondrous truths God reveals about His saving gift. I once asked Him, “What are believers in Christ saved from, exactly?” If anything brings me to my knees in humble gratitude within this year’s suffering Christmas, it’s His answers throughout Scripture. Handel’s Messiah echoes the truth, the very bad Read more

cross during sunset

As I suffer, am I trying to “be God?”

My heart is in agony, and I have to share. Thousands have written me, having been taught that if we “do” things a certain way, God “has to” remove suffering and give us “favor,” as a reward for our works. Beloved, do you see the pride and pain this brings? It’s making ourselves into gods above Him. Read more

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