Singing Christ’s Hope Into Your Suffering

Many have asked me to share more about what the Lord did for me in the 90’s. I hesitate to share personal stories, but on this “anniversary” week, I will. You have a story too! Let’s all glorify God by telling stories of His work in our lives as believers. And then, let’s boldly share the gospel itself, 

“the power of God for salvation” (Rom 1:16)! 

This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.

For me, being a new mother was the moment I’d been waiting for. I cradled my baby, comforted her cries, sang to her, enchanted by her. My joy overflowed into loving baby and husband and music work. 

Two months later, the pain began. I started dropping things. 

SO tired. 

Like the flu. 

All the time.

 

Tests revealed nothing conclusive, so they labeled me as a hypochondriac. At the hand of a compassionate doctor, steroids finally helped, our twin girls arrived two years later, and I again taught choirs, sang, played organ and piano, and planned church worship music. But symptoms soon expanded with violent, never-ending headaches, fuzzy mind, constant passing out, ambulances, hospitals, medications that didn’t help, and many valiant rescue attempts. 

Baltimore recruited my husband for a job, near my family, and a board member immediately connected us with Johns Hopkins Hospital. The illness worsened as our girls entered elementary school, with multiple organ systems quickly dysfunctioning. 

Bedridden

Hospital

Continual church meal trains 

Prayers 

Lament

Years

Dependence on God

I relinquished dreams of a clean house, little girls dressed in crisp dresses with braided hair, cooking nutritious meals for my family, energetically supporting my husband. My musical sharing silenced. I grieved loss of identity, control, and ability to plan anything. 

Before illness, I ran as an overachieving, in control kind of Christian woman. I loved and served Jesus, but worsening undiagnosed illness cultivated deepening dependence on the Lord for every moment. He cocooned me into a listening place. So patiently, God taught me who He is and how deeply He loved me as I wrestled with “why?” and prayed “fix this.” Eternal life, through Jesus Christ, was my comfort and hope. 

The Lord lavished me with a grace-filled daily plan:

Singing Praise Interruptions

God showed me how to endure each day with faith, interrupting suffering with singing of Psalms, hymns, and Scriptural songs that praise Him for who He is, revealed in Scripture.

Singing praise to God fostered trust in God.

Healing and tearful cleansing materialized as our Father bathed me in Scripture and song during personal worship moments. As He illuminated Himself in His Word, He continually produced joy, peace, hope, and contentment that replaced my anxiety, anger, depression, and frustration. Singing Scriptural songs in response to Him helped me remember His Word and trust Him through the darkest moments.  

God’s Healing

One day He urged, 

Call for the elders of the church…let them pray (James 5:14 ESV).

Nearly eight years after symptoms began, our church’s elders gathered around my wheelchair and called upon God’s mercy. Many had begged God for my healing for years. But this time, I contracted tonsillitis and high fever three days later! Tonsillitis? Dragging home after five days of hospitalization, I checked emails from support groups. By then, home internet had started!

Exhausted, I deleted most, but a woman’s subject of “tonsils” caught my eye. She shared her daughter’s healing story of brain surgery on “cerebellar tonsils.” The symptoms she described mirrored mine! Where was her surgery? Oh Father, You’re kidding me! Johns Hopkins! My internist rushed my MRI scans to that surgeon. God’s answer of “yes” had come after almost eight years.

By His grace, brain surgery on May 28, 1999 enabled me to function again, as mommy, wife, church music director, and music educator. 

God’s Sovereign Purpose

Our sovereign God knew all. In years of exponential suffering, He comforted me as He revealed Himself to be a good, loving, and wise Father who 

“declar(es) the end from the beginning…saying,

My diagnosis and surgery required moving to Baltimore, invention of home internet, connection to Johns Hopkins, support of Maryland church friends and family who cleaned our house, cared for our children, did our laundry, and held me up with Scripturally saturated emotional support. 

Most amazingly, since my surgery and resulting national media coverage in the news, on TV, and in magazines, many have also been healed as they discover this story.

Beloved, if I’d been instantly healed as we’d fervently prayed for years, perhaps none of these people would have known their enigmatic, complex symptoms also require the same surgery.

Only God knows. We only see a tiny glimpse of how our immensely wise Father is accomplishing His purposes and perfect will, in and through suffering. 

God’s answer in Scripture was always, “Wait, trust Me, draw near to Me during this horrible time. I have a better plan. My plans are perfect. I know what is best and I know you deeply, My daughter. My love is steadfast and unending. I am Your faithful Father.”

Singing Our Hope in Jesus Christ

Didn’t the pandemic bring us all to quietly pause, humbly admitting that our life is not in our control? Our sovereign Lord’s strong, loving, reigning, and perfect hands of grace enfold our health, family, future, finances and very being. Our good God and loving Father knows and holds both of us in our suffering today, as we pray and wait for His outcomes. He’s worthy of our praise, isn’t He?

In Christ, with assured gospel hope of being with Him for eternity, He is giving us hope and faith to trust Him with our today. Jesus says to us:

Singing Christ’s Hope Into Your Suffering

Let’s sing of our hope in Christ into today’s suffering, beloved. What songs and hymns help you remember God’s Word, His worth, His unchanging character? What songs proclaim the gospel to you? What songs give you lyrics for “praise interruptions?” 

I create weekly gospel-centered, Christ-exalting playlists to help me sing to Him, into my new sufferings, and I’m now sharing them with fellow sufferers in this fallen world. Sister, if it would bless you to sing…and believe…sign up here and I will send them to your email Tuesday evenings. This week’s playlist is powerful! To God be all glory, honor, and praise!

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