An “ongoing suffering” Christmas of silent, humbled, reverent awe

I will never forget it. Exactly one month after my second lifesaving brain surgery, I was able to sit at the piano and quietly play this Advent hymn. Pumped up with heavy medication, muscles and nerves shrieking in pain, our Lord gently tweaked the very direction of my earthly life to come, as I played. 

Humbled awe and reverence washed over me in a way it never has, despite loving Him as a church musician for over 40 years. The lyrics of:

• who Jesus is as the LORD
• all He’s done
• His humbled incarnation
• His sinless and perfect life
• His continual suffering on earth
• His atoning death for me
• His rescuing and saving me from my sin’s deserved judgment
• His gift of a glorious inheritance that awaits His beloved ones… 

They did me in. In a new and fresh way.

Ponder nothing earthly minded, in ongoing suffering

Since His gift on that precious day, the “fear of the Lord” has produced no more fear of suffering, no more anxiety. There’s so much we could be anxious about…

But the LORD is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him (Hab. 2:20 ESV).

He has helped me to ponder Him during my ongoing suffering, instead of all the “earthly-minded” things I once feared would disrupt my comfort. It’s His astounding healing and blessing, within ongoing suffering.

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and with fear and trembling stand;
ponder nothing earthly-minded,
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ our God to earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.

(c. 5th century)

Be silent, all flesh, before the LORD, for he has roused himself from his holy dwelling (Zech. 2:13 ESV).

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire (Heb. 12:28-29 ESV).

The powers of hell vanished and cleared away, in ongoing suffering

Beloved in Christ, He deeply, truly hates sin that separates us from Him. The ugliness and wreckage it has caused, since Genesis 3…

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (1 Jn. 1:8 ESV).

The death that results. The evil enemy that tempts us to sin too…

Our sin that held Jesus fast to the cross, taking our place, becoming our sin, permanently removing every bit of just punishment we deserve…

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1 Jn. 4:10 ESV).

The powers of hell, now trampled by our Lord Jesus’ death and victorious resurrection and reign….

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21 ESV).

As His

redeemed

forgiven

made new

forever declared righteous believers in Christ

by His marvelous grace

in giving us faith in Christ

indwelt by His Spirit

we both have our Abba Father’s tender and compassionate love.

Always.

Zero deserved anger or wrath for our sin is left. None. Not now. Not ever again.

In our ongoing suffering, we can triumphantly praise our Lord Jesus for this abundant life we’ve been given, in Him!

Rank on rank the host of heaven
spreads its vanguard on the way,
as the Light of light descendeth
from the realms of endless day,
that the pow’rs of hell may vanish
as the darkness clears away.

A playlist of Christmas songs to sing to our Lord Jesus in reverent awe

My suffering is ongoing and chronic on earth, but I want this Christmas to be one of silent reverence and awe of our Lord Jesus. To “ponder nothing earthly-minded” when all the troubles of this world scream at me and my own flesh quakes in its battles. I want this Christmas to be one of loving and “fearing” Him even more!

Oh come, let us adore Him, Christ the LORD!

At His feet the six-winged seraph,
cherubim with sleepless eye,
veil their faces to the Presence,
as with ceaseless voice they cry,
“Alleluia, alleluia,
alleluia, Lord Most High!”

I’ve created a playlist to help me “keep silence” before Him in personal worship during this Christmas season of ongoing suffering. Sister in Christ, if you’re also suffering in some way and it would bless you to quietly exalt Him with Christmas adoration too, please sign up below, and I can share it with you via email as we sing to Him together.

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To read more of Lauri’s writing, you can use her devotional Bible study lament prayer journals: 

Praying God’s Promises Into Suffering, or Near to God: A Devotional Bible Study of God’s Character as We Suffer, or Singing the Gospel to Job: Finding Hope in Suffering. In the Valleys of God’s Love is written for children aged 3-8, a perfect read for grandparents, parents, and children to share together, preparing them for suffering to come.

For Scripture devotionals, calming hymns, and encouragement from Lauri, click here for YouTube channel 

For those with chronic illness, pain, anxiety, and depression, here’s a music therapy-inspired podcast of Scripture and hymns to help ease symptoms