photography of barrel wave

Peace in the storms of anxiety

My chronic illnesses and brainstem herniation boiled into a raging storm seven months ago. Each day held so many moments of scary health crisis that I continually asked God to keep me physically safe during the hours my husband had to work. After my beautifully care-giving husband helped me get Read more

aerial view of a city

Singing the gospel when I’m afraid 

Father, The deceiver tempts us to fear that You’re punishing us when we suffer. When the hits keep coming, and we read the words of the Old Covenant, we’re easily afraid it’s our fault. We must not be doing enough to “earn” Your favor. Our accuser tempts us to think Read more

person holding green grains

Trusting Jesus With My Future

As one who’s begged God for healing over many years of progressively worsening illness, Job feels like a chronic illness friend to me. Check out chapters 2, 7, 16, 19, 29, and 30 for gruesome details. Stories like Job’s remind me that it’s God’s healing mercy when we experience moments Read more

person s scooping water by hands

A “praise interruption” into my pain and tears

For this musician who thinks and breathes in music, being unable to make music to our Lord was a heartbreaking loss. Overwhelming grief. For months, I was so sick as the resonating chambers in my head filled with pressure from my sagging brain and herniated brainstem, that I couldn’t sing Read more

white clouds with sun piercing through it

Clinging to hope in God’s purposes as I suffer, like Jesus

Father,  It’s Your promise.  Please strengthen our hearts by fixing our eyes on Jesus today. Help us cling to hope in Your always-good purposes for Your beloved in Christ, as we suffer. For it can seem like there are no good purposes for our earthly suffering. But Your Word gives Read more

person holding hand

When people don’t understand our suffering, we have our Friend

Job’s friends started well. They visited to “show him sympathy and comfort him” (Job 2:11). They mourned with him; they wordlessly sat with him, “for they saw that his suffering was very great” (Job 2:13). Maybe they didn’t know what to say?  Job himself was the “first to speak,” honestly sharing Read more

mountains with crepuscular ray

God’s miracle happened before! To God be the glory!

When I tell the story, some respond in awe and praise God. Others scratch their heads, “Maybe He is real and still does miracles.” I’m holding my breath in awe, wonder, and trembling worship. God has done a miracle in my life, twice now. I’m so humbled by His grace Read more

decorative treble clef on bright gift boxes on white background

A “happy Birthday song” as I suffer on Christmas Day

The beautiful familiar story seems unique when we’re suffering. Those shepherds must have been cold. Lonely. Maybe they were tired of caregiving. Sick of beating down wolves. Weary of trying to find greener pastures and water, keeping the wandering ones safe, the sick ones sheltered and alive.  And who got Read more

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