person carrying child wearing white top

Releasing into joy, in my dread of suffering

Why do I assume that tomorrow will bring more suffering?  Even if it did, why would I assume that I couldn’t possess any joy?  Maybe I need to simply ask God for His Spirit’s promised fruit of joy, to release my imagined assumptions. Who am I to predict what tomorrow Read more…

woman doing hand heart sign

“Love songs” in suffering: My Jesus, I love Thee 

My memories of last fall’s months are fading. Slipping in and out of consciousness, overcome by constant intractable pain and extra bouts of electric shocks, dealing with weakening side effects of treatment…well, it’s God’s mercy that I’m forgetting much of it now. Praise to our loving, powerfully healing, compassionate God! Read more…

person s scooping water by hands

A “praise interruption” into my pain and tears

For this musician who thinks and breathes in music, being unable to make music to our Lord was a heartbreaking loss. Overwhelming grief. For months, I was so sick as the resonating chambers in my head filled with pressure from my sagging brain and herniated brainstem, that I couldn’t sing Read more…

selective focus photography of pine tree with snow flakes

A lament of suffering at Christmas, into Love

God rest you merry, gentlemen,let nothing you dismay…Oh tidings of comfort and joy! (“God rest you merry, gentlemen,” p.d.) Yes, we’ve begun the Christmas season with all its “tidings of comfort and joy.” But are you suffering this year, as I am? Does this feel impossible to sing? Is your Read more…

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Singing Christ’s hope and love into depression

It drove me deeper and deeper into hopeless agony. Although no one knew it, I was suffering from depression, comorbid with years of undiagnosed chronic illness. My body was falling apart, with organ systems dysfunctioning and continual, severe pain. My ability to cope as a young wife and mother became Read more…

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Jesus loves me, this I know

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus and what aspect of His character has specifically attracted so many to follow Him and maintain trust in Him, no matter what suffering entered their earthly lives. What drove Jesus all the way to the cross, enduring all manner of suffering in His Read more…

woman looking at sunset

Jesus, “I Need Thee Every Hour” of chronic illness

Physical suffering brings tears and fears. Up at night, we join Job in turning to God: “My heart is heavy on account of my groaning” (Job 23:2) “and now my soul is poured out within me; days of affliction have taken hold of me. The night racks my bones, and Read more…

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Good news in the midst of my suffering

We ache for good news in medical challenges. We pray for good outcomes to the hardships our kids and grandkids are experiencing. We grieve when good things disappear. We live in a fallen and fearful world in which sin and resulting suffering affect everything.  We need good news, don’t we? Read more…

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Nothing at all can separate me from God’s love

How can a loving God let this happen to me? Including Job and myself, I don’t know one person who’s experienced deep suffering and hasn’t asked this question in moments of pain and despair. As a mature believer, Job lamented to God, “I loathe my life…do not condemn me…I am Read more…

woman wearing gray long sleeved shirt and black black bottoms outfit sitting on gray wooden picnic table facing towards calm body of water at daytime

Looking to the love of Jesus as I suffer

Lord, Job’s words match my sighs, my groans, my losses.  My sighing comes instead of my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water. For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me (Job 3:24-25 ESV). I’m slogging through today, Father. Things seem to be worsening. I can’t Read more…

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