Can you believe it’s another New Year? This week, I also celebrate a big birthday, one I never thought I’d experience with my serious and incurable illness. So, I’ve been constantly asking our Lord, “Why am I still here on earth? What new thing are You calling me to, as I suffer?” Read more
Are you also suffering with chronic illnesses? With pain that interrupts your ability to sleep? Are exhaustion and depletion becoming a “numbed” depression? Blankly existing? Is an onslaught of simultaneous relational or financial suffering making you feel numb? “Numbness is an incredibly strong emotion, an emotion so strong that it Read more
As I shared last week, I recently underwent a week of lying flat in bed, staring at the ceiling, asking God to heal the pain-full problem with my brain’s cerebrospinal fluid. I couldn’t comfortably read or listen to anything. All I had was Jesus and talking to Him, hearing His Read more
Last week, I talked about how God had me insert “chronically ill” into my reading of His Word. In my current suffering, every Scripture then comes to life, real and applied to my cries. No shame, no fear, but so loved by our Lord as He speaks tenderly to the Read more
Lord Jesus, Precious Savior, The pain is strong today. So much of our suffering is invisible to others. As we suffer, what do You gently call to us into the wounding? Are we weak and heavy-laden,cumbered with a load of care?Precious Savior, still our refuge–take it to the Lord in Read more
Faithful Father, Because You are faithful, I can walk through this trial, even if You choose not to remove it on earth. Your promises hold me when my emotions and thoughts spiral. Suffering can bring such temptation to doubt Your love or to fall into sinful self-pity and bitterness toward Read more
Lord Jesus, In my own agony, I can only turn to You, humbled and low before You. I feel so “wormy” when I re-realize the depth of my sin that separated me from our Father…and the depth of our Father’s love for me in giving me to You now and Read more
God has woven some underlying themes into my 35 years of suffering from chronic illness and pain, much like themes in a sonata. As I read my prayer journals, one theme has been the ongoing need to believe the gospel…daily. I see the subtle spiritual warfare and temptation of the Read more
I opened my phone, and social media tore into me. Memes complaining about “the world,” suffering and sin, and Scriptures meant to warn unbelievers wrecked my already-aching heart. When I realized I was suddenly feeling condemned and wallowing in “self” thoughts, I knew…these people’s posts were not helpful. When we Read more
When bouts of electric shocks fired into my body, with violently convulsing pain, I couldn’t think but only endure. When they subsided, I always melted with gratitude to our Savior, who suffered with me. Can you imagine His raw and exposed nerves struck by scourges? Can you imagine the physical Read more
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