God’s mercy, in the messy middle

Do you ever feel Job-like when suffering doesn’t go away? What if they say it’s permanent and incurable? What if God’s answers to our prayers seem to be “no” or “not yet?”

Could these situations be God’s leading us to His gentle mercy and compassion for us, as we walk through a mess of suffering?

In this hard trial, let’s come to our merciful and compassionate God together. This week, I finally share some details about His “mercy in the messy middle” of my own need right now, praying He might encourage you in the messy middle of yours, sister in Christ.

God’s mercy in the messy middle of suffering

Scripture tells us God’s mercy is tender, affectionate, cherishing. He pities us in our need. It’s wrapped in our Father’s deep love for us as His believing children. Sisters, if you’ve cared for a baby’s hunger cries, you know it’s our compassion that literally sustains their lives, despite our exhaustion in providing constant feedings. 

What a comfort to remember God’s sustaining compassion when we need His tender care.

Unnumbered comforts to my soul

your tender care bestowed,

before my infant heart conceived

from whom those comforts flowed.

(“When All Thy Mercies, O My God,” Addison, J., 1727)

I’m walking through a messy middle now. Are you? My new-old neurological symptoms resurfaced about a year ago. I tried to ignore them, asking God to keep me from worrying…and just take them away! But a new brain scan finally confirmed it late last summer. My brainstem has herniated again, almost three times deeper than before, and the neurological mess affecting my entire autonomic nervous system has progressively worsened.

God’s mercies are new, every morning

I’m now in the messy middle of systemic and unpredictable escalations of bodily suffering, remembering His mercy toward me the first time it happened. But this time? It’s not at all the same because I’m writing and creating musical offerings to help us both in the messy middle of suffering. They’ve now become God’s compassionate gifts in my own new moments of disability, pain, sorrow, anxiety, and loss.

When worn with sickness, oft have you

with health renewed my face;

and when in sins and sorrows sunk,

revived my soul with grace.

As I pray for God’s healing mercies, I cling to His daily, new mercies found in His Word. It’s new because He’s been doing His transforming heart-work in the 31 years since I was first afflicted. This time, my life allows for deeper abiding, as an empty-nester rather than a young mother. His compassionate mercy is continual, with layer upon layer as our Comforter illuminates His Word.

God’s miracles in the messy middle of suffering

Consider Jesus, whose pity and compassion fueled His miracles (e.g., Mt. 14:14; 20:34; Lk. 7:13). Jesus didn’t perform a healing miracle for everyone He met, but He knew each physical, emotional, and spiritual need. He knew what they needed most. So, our unchanging and compassionate Lord knows our biggest needs now. In His perfect wisdom, He knows better than we do.

Sometimes, He must know we need to see His miracles to sustain our hope.

In the middle of my new suffering, the Lord has been doing so many miracles! Many moments, He’s lifted symptoms for particular tasks or events. Two months ago, I put on His peace instead of anxiety (truly a miraculous work of God’s transforming grace in my mind and heart!) and attended an orchestra concert with my husband, knowing a neurological cascade of symptoms could easily make it hard…and embarrassing. “Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy. You’re helping me face my fears.” After the applause, we made our way backstage to congratulate our friend, the guest conductor. “Help me to stand and speak, Father.”

God’s mercy in miracle after miracle

The quiet man of many smiles approached, congratulating her as well, longtime friends because he’d previously supported her work with orchestras in other cities. “What do you do?” my husband asked him. “I’m a doctor, just moved to the big hospital system here.” “What’s your specialty?… You’re kidding, my wife has that.”

In a cascade of empathetic conversation about my rare conditions and God’s providential work of quickly moving mountains of the medical system, I suddenly sat in the office of this world-renowned neurologist who’d just opened a new clinic for people with my diagnoses, ten minutes from home! A musician himself, he also embraces music as a healing tool for his patients! As a retired music therapist, I smiled when he remarked, “I can’t believe we met. It seems like a miracle because I need your thoughts about how music could help my patients.”

Yes, Lord, it is all indeed…Your miracle!

With compassionate help from mercy-full church friends and my husband, God’s given me daily strength. He’s offered mercy through loved ones near and far who are praying for His comfort to me. Recent medical tests have revealed clues and new treatments are helping me battle the symptoms. God is teaching me. All of these, merciful miracles in the middle of a time of need, by the loving hand of our merciful Father.

Ten thousand thousand precious gifts

my daily thanks employ;

nor is the least a cheerful heart

that tastes those gifts with joy.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:16). 

God’s mercy in your messy middle

Dear one, how is His mercy revealed to you, even in today’s pain?

It began when He drew you to Jesus and brought you into new life, washing and saving you. 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Pet. 1:3, emphasis added). 

He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit (Ti. 3:5, emphasis added).

Beloved, it begins there, because He made you His child and your Father will never forget you. 

In His everlasting compassion, He has not forgotten you in today’s pain.

Can you see His compassionate mercy today? Can you see His miracles at work in the middle of your suffering? Oh sister, let’s both pray to our merciful Father that we might see!

When all your mercies, O my God,

my rising soul surveys,

transported with the view, I’m lost

in wonder, love, and praise.

Material adapted from Near to God: A Devotional Bible Study of God’s Character in Our Suffering, Lauri A. Hogle. Copyright © 2022, Singing Christ’s Hope. 

A playlist and prayer journal resource for our suffering hearts

Through ev’ry period of my life

your goodness I’ll pursue;

and after death, in distant worlds,

the glorious theme renew.

Through all eternity to you

a joyful song I’ll raise;

for oh, eternity’s too short

to utter all your praise.

I’ve crafted a playlist about God’s mercy toward us as His suffering children. It’s a playlist to help us sing praise to Him in the messy middle of our suffering. It’s sung prayer, bringing our messy need to His throne of grace, finding mercy and help. The songs remind us of His miracles, helping us to see Him at work.

This week, I’ve also created a prayer journaling page to help us all notice and praise God for His mercy and miracles, as we walk through suffering. I’ve put it in the subscriber-only resource library for us to use, with much prayer that it will be helpful to you too!

If having these resources would be a gift to you in your own messy middle, as they are for me, just sign up here and I’ll send it to your email, with much prayer for you, sister in Christ. I’m praying our God of great mercy will bring you comfort, through it all.

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