clouds and blue sky

God’s presence and promised help as I suffer

Heavenly Father,  You encouraged Your people to be strong, without fear or dread, before they ventured into already-known hardship. Yes, they were entering Your promised land, but not without “many dangers, toils, and snares.” How could they head into new adventures with courage?  Your promise came true, of course. As Read more…

person s scooping water by hands

A “praise interruption” into my pain and tears

For this musician who thinks and breathes in music, being unable to make music to our Lord was a heartbreaking loss. Overwhelming grief. For months, I was so sick as the resonating chambers in my head filled with pressure from my sagging brain and herniated brainstem, that I couldn’t sing Read more…

person holding hand

When people don’t understand our suffering, we have our Friend

Job’s friends started well. They visited to “show him sympathy and comfort him” (Job 2:11). They mourned with him; they wordlessly sat with him, “for they saw that his suffering was very great” (Job 2:13). Maybe they didn’t know what to say?  Job himself was the “first to speak,” honestly sharing Read more…

white and pink box

Lord, YOU are my righteousness. Hallelujah!

Father, I come today so weary. Feeling alone and discouraged. Feeling so unrighteous as I hunger and thirst for righteousness, amid my hardship right now. You compassionately understand our deep need for You and have given us so many promises in Your Word. Thank You. You even encouraged Your people Read more…

mountains with crepuscular ray

God’s miracle happened before! To God be the glory!

When I tell the story, some respond in awe and praise God. Others scratch their heads, “Maybe He is real and still does miracles.” I’m holding my breath in awe, wonder, and trembling worship. God has done a miracle in my life, twice now. I’m so humbled by His grace Read more…

close up shot of king s crown on brown box

Crown Jesus Christ, who carries us through, into new!

Happy New Year! I’m now six weeks from God’s miracle of a second lifesaving brain surgery and I’ve prayed about what to share with you. I’ve been unable to write a blog post for several months. Why?  I was again walking the valley of the shadow of death, for the Read more…

selective focus photography of pine tree with snow flakes

A lament of suffering at Christmas, into Love

God rest you merry, gentlemen,let nothing you dismay…Oh tidings of comfort and joy! (“God rest you merry, gentlemen,” p.d.) Yes, we’ve begun the Christmas season with all its “tidings of comfort and joy.” But are you suffering this year, as I am? Does this feel impossible to sing? Is your Read more…

hands of a potter working with a pottery wheel

Have Thine Own Way, Lord

When symptoms began again, horrific “déjà vu” set in. As pain and disabling weakness collided with my regular rhythms of loving God and others, flashbacks of the 1990s held PTSD.  How could this be happening again? I was physically healed in 1999, with the miraculous intervention of the all-powerful God Read more…

personal organizer and pink flowers on desk

What an amazing promise! God will give me strength!

The lies fill our thoughts. ”I can’t do this today. I can’t keep going like this.”  “God doesn’t hear me.” “He’s forgotten me, abandoned me.” Afflicted saint, to Christ draw near… (“As thy days, so shall thy strength be,” Fawcett, J., p.d.) “Behold, I am with you always, to the Read more…

photography of waterfalls between trees

Finding healing of “Draw Me Nearer” into spiritual depression

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? (Ps. 42:1-2 ESV). I am thine, O Lord, I have heard thy voice,and it told thy love to me;but I long to rise in the arms of faith,and be closer drawn to thee. (“I Am Thine, O Lord, I Have Heard Thy Voice,” Crosby, F., Read more…