Finding hope when it seems there’s no answer

My knee-jerk reaction to suffering is to research, scrambling for solutions, aiming to find a way to make things feel more comfortable. I want to fix things and quickly. I want an answer.

Back when my illness was the worst, my desperation for health had crossed the line into idolatry. There, I said it aloud. I didn’t want my disability and I frantically sought relief from unrelenting symptoms. I spent years trying medical treatments and tests, countless doctors, vitamins, self-help strategies, and diet changes. Nothing fully helped.

Suffering with chronic illness for many years brings physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering. It impacts finances, life purpose and dreams, self-worth, relationships, daily plans. It also reveals idolatries. It reveals places where we sin. After 22 years since my brain surgery, I can now see that I was a young Christian who was self-destructing in my sin because I was constantly and anxiously ruminating on fixing my illness.

But God.

Finding hope when it seems there’s no answer

Something victorious happened to me when my doctor quietly gave me no hope for getting well. I know it seems so paradoxical…but the Lord filled me with hope at the point when it seemed there was no answer. Looking back now, I see that He freed me from my desperate, idolatrous, life-destructive thought battle, into clinging to Jesus alone. He enabled me to peacefully rest in the arms of the only One who can give us actual hope. He healed me to place my hope only in Christ and in the work of the gospel.

We never stopped praying for physical recovery and healing, but anxious dwelling on recovery and “fixing it” ended. God helped me trust Him into whatever outcome lay ahead; that became my hope and peace. The Lord interrupted my self-focused, anxiety-riddled thoughts with praise to Him, often singing Scripture, releasing my life into one of surrendered worship.

I cannot even describe the difference as the Lord helped me to sing Christ’s hope into my suffering. 

Finding hope in God’s Word

Now, after God’s amazing healing from that time, but with my recent new layers of physical suffering, I can look back and see His grace in those moments. By His gracious gift, these verses bubbled into abiding truths in my life…and everything has changed as I suffer now:

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Cor. 3:18 ESV).

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Rom. 12:2 ESV).

Will you join me in staying our minds on Jesus together, beholding His glory, and praising our Lord Jesus who is fairer and purer than anything else? Even more than earthly outcomes we desire? In the process, let’s rest in God’s redeeming love for us displayed on the cross and trust in His powerful, transforming, sanctifying work in us today. Let’s have a praise interruption together, fellow sufferer.

I cherish and honor You as Ruler and Lord of my life, Jesus

Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Thee will I cherish, thee will I honor,
thou, my soul’s glory, joy, and crown.

(“Fairest Lord Jesus,” Author unknown, Münster Gesangbuch, 1677)

For the Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him (Jn. 5:22-23 ESV).

Jesus, You are fairer and purer than any beauty earth offers

Fair are the meadows, fair are the woodlands,
robed in the blooming garb of spring:
Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer,
who makes the woeful heart to sing.

They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment,
like a robe you will roll them up, like a garment they will be changed.
But you are the same, and your years will have no end (Heb. 1:11-12 ESV).

Jesus, You are brighter and purer than anything in the universe You created

Fair is the sunshine, fair is the moonlight,
and all the twinkling, starry host:
Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer
than all the angels heav’n can boast.

Jesus, I glorify You as Lord over all things and my beautiful Savior

Beautiful Savior! Lord of the nations!
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor, praise, adoration,
now and for evermore be thine.

Selah.

Beloved, we may not have answers about our earthly suffering, but as we wait to see what God does, He helps us worship Him instead of worshiping our own desires. For me, it was how He gave me hope when it seemed there was no answer.

Maybe this was His answer… 

Finding hope as we adore Jesus in song

I’m praying for you, dear reader, as I write for both of us today. I pray He helps you with these short journeys of Scripture and song, woven into mini-worship moments. Would you like my professionally curated playlist gift to help you adore Jesus with singing this week? Maybe, as we sing, you too will find hope, peace…and even joy as you suffer, even if it seems there’s no answer right now. If it would encourage you, sign up here and it will come to your email.

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