How long, O Lord, shall I complain
Like one that seeks his God in vain?
Canst thou thy face forever hide,
And I still pray and be denied?
(“How Long, O Lord,” Watts, I., p. d.)
Does this Psalm-echoing hymn resonate with you? You’re not alone, especially if you suffer from chronic illness and pain.
Prolific hymn-writer and pastor Isaac Watts suffered chronic illness “under great pains and weakness of body…Weakness upon his nerves…continued with him, in some measure, to the day of his death.”1
Isaac’s hymn peers anxiously into his perceived future, wanting to see God from the pit of depression, but sunk so low that it’s difficult to see Him.
Maybe you can relate to all of this.
The example of Hezekiah
Last week, while I was fighting bronchitis on top of my usual neurological symptoms and pain, our Lord took me to Isaiah 38 and reminded me of chronically ill Hezekiah. Amid God’s tender “no” answers to my prayers, He was not hiding…through His Word, He infused gospel hope into my weariness.
I know He’s actively helping me battle a lurking pit of depression. Scientists now understand that chronic pain, familiar to those with various chronic illnesses, is particularly accompanied by depression and anxiety.
Like many laments in the Old Testament, Hezekiah’s prayer echoed the depression and anxiety of chronic illness and pain. He felt “consigned to the gates of Sheol for the rest of my years” (v. 10). His hope-less thoughts cried, “I shall not see the LORD in the land of the living” (v. 11), and social isolation agonized, “I shall look on man no more” (v. 11). He told God about his “day and night” moaning “like a dove” (vv. 13-14). He confessed:
Are your eyes weary too?
Like Hezekiah, have you begun to feel the oppression, the “bitterness of my soul” (v. 15), even starting to blame God (vv. 12-13)?
Chronic pain mingled with depression and anxiety
Here’s the worst thing about all the mingling: “Depression…can further aggravate the severity of pain experience.”2 It’s a vicious cycle because “persistent pain induces a widespread sympathetic response, sleep disturbances…altered appetite pattern, increas[ing] the anxiety. Similarly, coexistent anxiety precipitates excessive pain.”3
This isn’t surprising when we understand the interconnected intricacies of our God-designed brains and bodies.
So, when Watts sings along in echoes of Hezekiah’s prayer and many lament Psalms, we can use the lyrics to come to our Lord of love, who compassionately offers help to us.
How long shall my poor troubled breast
Be with these anxious thoughts oppressed?
And Satan, my malicious foe,
Rejoice to see me sunk so low?
Praise God for His healing gift of the gospel of Jesus Christ, into this intense suffering. “How long” means…
we are clinging to our hope, our Lord, our “pledge of safety.”
We haven’t given up!
For it is in Christ alone, our Savior victorious over sin, Satan, and death, that we have all hope!
By His grace, by His Spirit,
He’s empowering us to cling to Him in the pit!
Healing as You shine the gospel of Jesus Christ into the pit of depression and anxiety
Abba Father,
When we read Old Testament prayers that echo our suffering, “un-weary” our eyes as we rest those prayers at the foot of the empty cross of our risen Lord Jesus Christ. As we read Hezekiah’s prayer that pointed him forward to the cross, point us upward as we fix our gaze on our Lord’s victorious resurrection.
Jesus is right now alive and with us, even in what feels like a pit.
When darkness veils his lovely face,
I rest on his unchanging grace;
in every high and stormy gale
my anchor holds within the veil.
(“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less,” Mole. E., 1834)
For Sheol does not thank you;
death does not praise you;
those who go down to the pit do not hope
for your faithfulness (Is. 38:18 ESV).
His oath, his covenant, his blood
support me in the whelming flood;
when all around my soul gives way,
he then is all my hope and stay.
Healing as You help us trust and share the gospel of Jesus Christ, keeping us out of the pit of death
The living, the living, he thanks you,
as I do this day;
the father makes known to the children
your faithfulness (Is. 38:19 ESV).
My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
Healing as You help us sing the gospel into the pit of depression and anxiety
On Christ, the solid rock, I stand;
all other ground is sinking sand!
In Your healing name, Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
Sister in Christ, having dealt with this for so long, I can only say that He has rescued, saved, and kept me alive in the pit by singing the gospel into my pain. The lies of anxiety and depression are strong. Satan, our malicious foe, does rejoice to see us sunk so low.
Let’s fight back with God’s Word and what is true! Let’s sing praise to our Lord for the sure hope He’s given us, as those who belong to Christ!
When he shall come with trumpet sound,
O may I then in him be found;
dressed in his righteousness alone,
faultless to stand before the throne!
This week’s worship music playlist gift is professionally crafted to help both of us, based on the principles of music therapy. I pray it will help you feel a little lighter, with more energy, in response to the characteristics of the music. And that the Scriptural lyrics will fuel your thoughts with our hope in Christ, keeping you alive if the pit of pain is strong right now. May our Lord be overwhelmingly glorified.
If this would bless you, sign up here, and it will come to your email:
Other resources are here as well:
YouTube channel with Scripture devotionals and calming hymns
Devotional Bible study prayer journals, available on Amazon. Click for details.
Near to God: A Devotional Bible Study of God’s Character in Our Suffering
Singing the Gospel to Job: Finding Hope in Suffering
Praying God’s Promises Into Suffering
- Clark, D. W. (n. d.). Dr. Isaac Watts: Dying with religion. Isaac Watts dying with faith in Christ—Christian biography. .https://www.wholesomewords.org/biography/bwatts12.html ↩︎
- Irons, J.Y., Sheffield, D., Ballington, F., & Stewart, D. E. (2020). A systematic review on the effects of group singing on persistent pain in people with long‐term health conditions. European Journal of Pain, 24(1), 71–90, p. 83. ↩︎
- Thakare, A., Jallapally, A., Agrawal, A., & Salkar, P. (2022). Music therapy and its role in pain control. IntechOpen, p. 6. ↩︎
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